Get Grateful to Conquer Anxious Overwhelm

Last night, an elementary school skating night reminded me how impactful our thoughts and perspectives can be on our actual experiences- both positively and negatively. I arrived a bit late to the event, and it felt as if I was walking into a kid's movie set- the energy on the scene was palpable. I quickly took stock upon entering: Over 100 kids between the ages of 5-11 running or skating wildly, hip-hop music pumping at max volume, sweaty kids screeching at their besties, pizza crusts and empty soda cups at every table, arcade games dinging and buzzing, and parents gathered in groups conversing and observing.

My first series of thoughts involved a bit of panic and worry:

"Where is my son?"

"There are too many small kids on skates. Is this safe enough?"

"OMG, there are so many people here. I am completely overwhelmed. AACK!"

"Why can't I find him? Is he ok? What if he left without telling anyone?"

In all of the mindfulness work I have been doing this past year, I have learned the truth about all of these anxious thoughts. I have learned the science of how most of those thoughts running through our heads are trying very hard to get us worried and anxious about our surroundings. Our brain is trying very hard to keep us protected and safe, therefore amplifying the negative reminders to keep us vigilant and ready for flight or fight at any moment. Which was incredibly useful millions of years ago when our ancestors were trying to stay alive on the savannahs in small tribes. Unfortunately, our brain's habit of getting our attention with repetitive negative thoughts tends to create unnecessary anxiety for us today.

When I took a breath and paid attention to what was happening in that skating rink, it was pure innocence and fun. There was nothing there that was going to attack me or my son. No life-threatening predators or natural disasters were trying to kill me. I was in a skating rink. With children. In the suburbs. And many more parents than needed if there WERE to be a disaster.

There was a brief moment where I stopped focusing on the chaos and thought, "Holy moly this is nuts, and amazing. Look how much fun they are all having!! I am so grateful that my kid gets to experience a fun night like this. I'm so grateful I live in a community where we all come together to enjoy this excitement with our kids." Those two grateful thoughts alone were enough to calm my nerves from the overstimulation. I was able to walk through the rest of the evening with a grateful and relaxed mindset, which created such a wonderful experience for myself and those with whom I chatted.

A few minutes later, I entered a conversation where parents shared anger and frustration over a school district email. I quickly recognized they were also struggling with the same anxious thought patterns I had just freed myself from - the thoughts that get us to attach to the worry and anxiousness... instead of the pure observation of the situation we are surrounded by. I didn't allow myself to stay in the conversation too long, but I also felt empathy for what they were experiencing. Breaking free of those negative, anxious thought patterns is not easy. It takes practice and intention. It requires us to distance ourselves from our thoughts and question our assumptions and perspectives. Questioning the information flowing through our brain, which is the main tool we trust to keep us informed, is a challenge- those thoughts can feel like absolute facts when they pop into our consciousness.

Friends, these thoughts are not facts. And we get into trouble if we assume and act as if they are.

So my hint to you is: The next time you notice that negative, anxious thoughts have you spinning a bit, take a moment to direct your attention to something you can be grateful for in that moment. Maybe it's your warm clothes, a good friend, your reliable car, or a good laugh. That quick moment of gratitude can immediately shift you into a less anxious space where each negative thought loses a bit of its power. In that single moment, you have provided your brain with a new option on which to focus. You can even choose to shift more of your thoughts to gratefulness and completely change your experience in that moment.

I am incredibly grateful for last night's experience - both for the memories I hope to hold and for the FUN that a large community group was able to experience together.